By God, Man, Wake Up.
Eating that turkey sandwich was not the smartest decision you've made today. Is tryptophan coursing through your veins? Is it whispering in your ear: "Close your eyes for just a second. No one will notice." Don't listen. Those hypnotic words will put you into a trance and out of a job.
The voice is L-Tryptophan, an essential amino acid that – when metabolized – produces a calming effect perfect for a drooling face plant into your keyboard. And if you think you're safe from involuntary snoozing just by avoiding turkey, you're wrong. It can also be found in other foods including chicken, cheddar cheese, and tuna.
Doctor Sipsa Caffay found a common thread between the foods containing L-Tryptophan. "When I looked at a list of all L-Tryptophan-containing foods, I realized they were all items we’ve been taught as children to add to our brown bag lunches. Bananas, baked potatoes, yogurt, nuts, cheese. It seemed like conspiracy, so I kept investigating."
Doctor Caffay discovered that, L-Tryptophan was developed centuries ago by kings who felt their servants were getting too aspirational. By genetically modifying foods commonly eaten by the masses, they were able to prevent the help from ever desiring to advance past their low-level stations.
In the 1930s, when numerous physicists and chemists took an interest in what we now call molecular biology, they began to draw molecular structures like the one you see in diagram A. Once they discovered the history of L-Tryptophan, the group wanted the representation to convey exactly what the amino acid was about – a man trying to keep his employees down as shown in diagram B.
The history of L-Tryptophan was disconcerting to say the least. The good news is, we don’t have to stop eating the foods we’ve grown to love in order to start staying awake. There are products out on the market that can be consumed to counteract any sleepy symptoms and give us the energy we need to keep pushing ourselves, reaching new goals and fighting the urge to sleep through our lives. Don’t let the little man bring you down. Find the energy to fight back.